Thursday, December 20, 2012

End of the World?

Okay, here we go, a mere hour away from the end of the world and what am I doing? I'm blogging. After all, what else am I supposed to do? Save it?  Rewrite/correct the Mayan Calendar? Get a better view?

Actually, by my count, this is roughly the fifth time I'll be surviving the end of the world. I remember all the hubbub that was my first end of the world experience. No, I missed the Beatles breaking up, I'm talking about the Y2K "virus". For those of you who weren't around for that, let me tell you what you missed. NOTHING! And I'm thinking that this is just another Y2K waiting to happen. Why? Several reasons.

1) Nothing cool has happened to me lately. Oh, wait, I've finished my first book that will most likely get published, but I'm not counting that. With my Karma, it would happen the day BEFORE it was to be released. My book is not being released tomorrow, so you can all rest assured that we will live to see another day. Seriously. If you ever want a business to fail just talk me into investing into them. A couple of shares of Apple and, poof, their company will fold within weeks.

2) What did the Mayans know anyway? You are talking about a culture celebrated for predicting the end of the world, yet didn't have the premonition to see the Spaniards coming and nearly wiping them off the face of the planet. Because somebody ran out of room on a tablet doesn't mean it is the end of the world. Chances are they just took a smoke break and then went on to another project. I wonder if somebody thought , "Hey, if I stop here I bet somebody will freak out some day." Personally, I think the whole calendar creation was just a union job. Or government. However, I do need to give the Mayans some credit here. Microsoft, the biggest software company in the world, has trouble making their electronic computers figure out dates within a hundred years of each other. At least the Mayan calendar was Y2K compatible.

3) Or was it? Truth is, it doesn't align with the Gregorian calendar (the one you and I use). The Mayans did not account for leap year, which means every four years (roughly) they lost a day. Are you sitting down? The Mayans Calendar actually ended about eight months ago. So, we're good!

With that said, I think this is a great opportunity for a practical joker to have some fun. I saw a video of some kid talking on his cell phone telling people he just heard that New York just went underwater with a tsunami and they had half an hour before it hit them in Florida. I'm not going to post it because of the language but the link is here. Think along these lines. Only turn New York into Jerusalem and you've got the makings for a riot.

I was thinking of hitting the local thrift store, buying some clothes, and just leave them on park benches around town like the rapture just happened. Who wants to join me on that?

If I owned a power station, I would probably turn the lights on and off just to freak people out. Too bad I don't own one. But, rest assured, if I did I would call it Greyskull.

If the end of the world does happen I'm seriously going to be bummed. Right before the weekend? Come on, Mayans, if you are going to blink us out couldn't you have the decency to schedule it on a Monday?

Truth be told, I have a big fear that the end will not come. Because, this will happen:

Scary, isn't it? More scary than the world getting snuffed out by the zombie apocalypse. So, a few last thoughts on December 21, 2012:

What is your take on the situation? And, for the record, I'm heading to Vegas so if the end of the world comes I intend to go out partying!