Friday, June 17, 2011

Weekly Lesson: How to Properly Use a Semicolon

I have a confession to make... my two favorite punctuation marks are the ¡exclamation point! and the semicolon. I overly use the exclamation point because I'm used to having a loud voice and everything I say MUST be exciting, right? Right? (Just agree with me)

The semicolon is another story. Mostly it is because I see it misused far too often by others. Yet, when I use it, I want to mark the sentence with a highlighter and write in the margins, "See, that is how you use a semicolon. Like that! Excuse me while I thump my chest." I would, of course, use many more exclamation points, but I'm trying to use them sparingly in this blog.

It does have its uses, but too much of any good thing (e.g. exclamation points, chocolate) can lead to disastrous consequences.

Why?

So let's talk about the why first. All punctuation comes down to one thing: pacing. When you see a blank between two wordsb your mind instantly goes to the next word with a slight, micro-second pause between them. However, you stick a period in there and your mind pauses for a split second. If you did as I did in the first paragraph and put an ellipsis (...), or three of those blessed periods, you take a much longer pause. I love to use them for dramatic pauses, or they could represent a trailing off of thought.

The comma, which can both be under and over-utilized, is used to make a short pause. But sometimes a writer wants to have a pause that is longer than a comma, yet shorter than a period. Luckily a nice Italian guy named Aldus Pius Manutius invented the semicolon over 400 years ago which now serves that exact purpose.

When?

Be careful, these should be used sparingly. In fact, some (including myself) would argue to NEVER use them in fiction as they tend to pull a reader out of the story. I know every time I see one I have to stop and think, "Wow, did I just see a semicolon? Did he or she use it correctly?" In nonfiction you can be more liberal. If you actually work it properly into an Email, you could become the envy of your friends and coworkers.

How?

Primarily, you will see it used to join two independent, yet closely related, clauses. Whoa, there! That sounded English textbook-like. Sorry. Let's break that down into real English. An independent clause is a statement that can stand by itself. For instance, a young man can be described as followed:


Billy always wears a red cape.


That is an independent clause. When explaining things like this, you might add more information about Billy. Let's say that bulls always hate him (because bulls hate the color red -- I only know this because of my exhaustive research of Saturday morning cartoons). If you write two independent clauses to describe this, the relationship between the red cape and the source of all bulls' contempt might be missed.


Billy always wears a red cape. All bulls hate Billy.


If one is not familiar with the notion that bulls hate the color red, they might miss that these two independent clauses are related. However, if you replace that period with a semicolon, it changes to:


Billy always wears a red cape; all bulls hate Billy.


As a writer, you are now telling a reader that these two independent clauses are related to each other. There are other ways of doing this, like directly saying "because of this" instead of using the semicolon, but it might mess with the pacing you are trying to establish in a story or explanation.

Another How?

You can also use the semicolon as a comma on steroids, such as when you are listing items that have commas in them. Let's say you are sitting in a room and Bob, the psychologist, walks into the room. After that, Greg, the brick layer, walks in. And George, who everybody knows, follows shortly afterwards. You wish to convey this in one sentence. Without the semicolon, the following sentence looks like five people walk in and not three:


WRONG WAY: I watched as Bob, the psychologist, Greg, the brick layer, and George walked into the room.


The semicolon can help clear up the confusion.


RIGHT WAY: I watched as Bob, the psychologist; Greg, the brick layer; and George walked into the room.


Also, it helps when separating lists of cities and their states.


This summer I went to Las Vegas, Nevada; Salt Lake City, Utah; and Denver, Colorado.


Without those semicolons, people who are poor at geography might think you visited three cities and three states. (That phrase, "poor at geography," is a link, by the way)

Examples of Bad Usage

Do not use a semicolon when you have a conjunctions (and, but, or, so) between the two clauses. Use a comma instead because your conjunction is now performing the mental pause you were creating with the semicolon.


WRONG WAY: Billy always wears a red cape; therefore all bulls hate Billy.
RIGHT WAY: Billy always wears a red cape, therefore all bulls hate Billy.


Also, while you are technically joining two sentences together, this becomes one sentence; the second independent clause does NOT begin with a capitol letter. (See, that is how you use a semicolon. Like that! Excuse me while I thump my chest.)


Found This recently

I recently found this and had to share:

Ode to the Semicolon 


The simple thoughts of children need only simple punctuation.
A sentence with one verb, one noun, for every situation.
“I want a cookie.” “She hit me!” “When are we going to eat?”
These subject/object pairings up express these thoughts complete.

As we mature, our thoughts do too, become harder to express.
Complexity increases, stacked more and more, not less.
“Optic blasts are awesome, but adamantium claws are better.”
“Should I call up Mary Lou, or send an e.mail letter?”

Related concepts bloom within, so quickly they do roll on,
To show they’re separate (but connected), apply the semicolon.
The sentences could stand apart, but linking them together
Allows the thought to seamlessly express itself much better.

“We danced all night; it was divine.” describes one case in point.
The first and second halves of which each other do anoint.
“We danced all night. It was divine.” How choppy and how stilted!
Without the semicolon how the narrative gets wilted!

Conditional or adverse, it supports concept relations;
O semicolon praise we all, the best of all notations!


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Unheeded Advice

Right before my son left for a scout camp in Moab last week I told him, "Oh, I've got the perfect song for you. Listen carefully, you need to hear this!" I then searched my music collection and found an old favorite: Baz Lurmann's Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen). I've always agreed to the lyrics and the more I listen to them, the more I agree with everything said. So for five minutes my son listened to these words:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

After "singing" along to most of this song I turned to him and said, "Do you get it?"

Blink.

"Do you get what I'm trying to say to you?"

Brow creases with deep thought. "No, I don't get the point of that."

"Argh!! Wear sunscreen! He said it like fifteen times in that song! You are going to Moab for crying out loud." Okay, in retrospect I'm sure he only says it twice but, come on, everybody calls it the "Sunscreen Song. "

And, of course, four days later he came home about three shades darker than when he left, with a hint of red. Did he wear sunscreen? No!

Some day I hope he understands the wisdom that I try to bestow upon him.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Coming Soon as a Blog Post Near You!!

I hope this is a rare occasion, but today I'm going to blog on what I'm going to blog on soon. I really don't want this to become a common occurrence, I would rather be doing something opposed to talking/typing about it.

Here is the thing, a week has gone by since my last blog post and I don't want that to happen. Ever. Again. So at least I'm writing something. But, fear not, there is something in it for you. You don't have to take that Valium or sleeping pill of choice tonight to get to sleep. This is not really that exciting, luckily I have nice, patient, understanding, and fantastic blog followers.

So this week expect at least two posts. The first will be on my good friend, the semi-colon. I LOVE the semi-colon but only when it is used properly and sparingly. I recently read something, a work of fiction, that was riddled with it. I just couldn't take it anymore!! So I thought I'd make that my weekly lesson. To be fair, the same proper and sparing rule should apply to exclamation points but I just can't hold myself back. Everything I say is exciting and exacerbating, isn't it?!?!!!!?!

But this weekend I've given a lot of thought to conflict in a story, so I'm going to mindlessly go off on it. Hopefully I can (unintentionally I'm sure) add something that you can benefit from reading.

I might even sneak in a mystery post just to keep things interesting. *evil grin*